Spinvis - Goochelaars & Geesten

Three fourteen a.m. A man walks barefoot into the kitchen; the crumbs on the tile floor stick to his soles. He shivers, but can't bring himself to walk all the way over to the thermostat. Instead, he turns on the oven. In the next room, his wife of many years and her two cats sleep soundly.

Three nineteen a.m. The oven has finished pre-heating. From a plasteen wrapper he removes a frozen cajun sausage, and places it neatly upon a badly marred baking sheet. Opening the oven door, a blast of heat envelops him and makes him squint. He places the baking sheet onto the lower rack, closes the door, and sets the timer for ten minutes.

Three twenty nine a.m. The timer expires, letting off a simple, unintrusive beep. The man has been kneeling in front of the oven, examining his reflection in the glass. He sees a pretty ordinary person there: just an anonymous, working-class man, eagerly looking forward to a midnight snack. He knows he probably shouldn't be doing this -- his waistline is starting to look a little pudgy -- but, what the hell.

Using decorative holiday towels completely unsuited for the job, he removes the hot baking sheet and puts it on the cold stovetop. The sausage sizzles beckoningly -- its savory scent causes the man to grin with anticipation. He opens the silverware drawer and removes one fork: it is unclean. He removes a second fork and stabs the sausage with it. Juices dribble down its side. "Sausage, you're all mine," he says.

"Not today, buddy," utters a voice from behind, and a mysterious third fork whisks away the sausage right before his eyes. He turns to see his wife, smiling wryly as she takes a bite of the kidnapped wienerwurst.

"What?!" the man barks.

"Damn, so good," she mumbles, the mouthful stifling her words.

"Your stealth is useless against me, wife," he replies sharply, and in a surprising feat of dexterity, he snatches the bite of sausage right out of her mouth. Then, staring at her with a sour, bleary stare, he grabs the rest of the link from her hand and slaps her forehead with it.

The End.